Historically, this laundry list of qualities is the very thing the aristocracy took into consideration when making a match, whether it was the union of royals to ally two nations or the nuptials between the daughter and son of two landowning families, for example.In his work as a rabbi at Oxford University and in London, Boteach noticed a curious phenomenon.In the old days a man could usually find a wife if he went looking, and a single woman could attract a husband by putting herself in socially acceptable places to be noticed. If the vast majority of single Christian men and women "want to be married someday," why is it so hard to get married?Jewish rabbi and relationship expert Shmuley Boteach, known as the "Love Prophet," believes he knows why singles today find it so hard to discover their soul mate.But I can't tell you how many people think this way today as well....This logic is not flawed, for it is the thinking of aristocrats. At best, they can hope for a harmonious partnership.Recently one of the guys in my singles Bible study announced he's getting married, for the first time, at age 45. The news made me smile, and immediately followed the thought, I hope someday we will all be able to look back at our madcap single days and smile, remembering how interminable the years "in between" seemed before we found the one man or woman who changed our lives.And I hope we never lose our sense of vulnerability, or what Boteach calls "the four-letter word of relationships": Sound familiar?
These men and women were so good at what they did for a living that they wanted to "hold out for the best." For all our advancements in the modern world, Boteach writes, we've ignored the vast and all-important social changes that have swept the landscape: Ours is a generation in which nearly everyone in the Western world is an aristocrat. There was a small aristocratic class for whom everyone else worked and upon whom everyone was dependent.Those who wish to find a soul mate in their relationships are a completely different breed of person.