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Whether it’s multiple single people, multiple couples, or a combination thereof in any variety of genders, the implications are endless and have to be addressed if there's to be any hope of a successful outcome.

Engaging in group sex has a unique appeal to and distinct difficulties for every person involved.

If you don’t know how to find a party like this in your area, look for sex-positive sex-toy stores. Now, if you’re more interested in adding a third person to your marriage and turning your relationship into a long-term triad, the requirements and conversations should be different.

It's crucial to be clear about each person’s ideal situation and your specific boundaries and priorities before you engage a third person. Do familiarize yourself with the concept of "couple privilege" and learn how to avoid it.

Don't jump into anything until you're incredibly comfortable with all parties involved.

If you don’t feel comfortable propositioning someone you know at all, searching for a playmate through online dating sites is a good alternative.

This is highly frowned upon in the polyamorous community.

In her book Elisabeth Sheff describes this dynamic perfectly:“The unicorn is an unattached bisexual woman who wants to date or simply have a quick ménage a trois with an existing female-male couple. In her most exaggerated form, she is a young, single woman, eager to move to the couple’s dilapidated farm in North Dakota to care for their children, work on their farm, clean their house, be their sex toy, and disappear whenever it would be inconvenient to explain her presence to the couple's family or friends.”3. As in all areas of life, consideration of others is key.


Do consider attending sex parties in order to meet like-minded individuals in a safe setting.

Log on to any dating site and declare your desires. Couples seeking the participation of a third party have to spend a not-insignificant amount of time and effort clarifying and agreeing on boundaries and fully communicating both fears and desires. In the heat of the moment, something could make you feel discomfort that you didn’t anticipate.2.



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